If

We could be different

If only it did not happen this way

We could be sitting in that little garden house

That our father built with red bricks years ago

I could see you next to the apple trees, touching

Its green, unripe apples with excitement

We could be different if only it was different and

Did not happen the way it happened

My brother would be in the garden with us helping father

Gathering dry, broken branches to start a fire

And his son would be able to pronounce my name

It could be different if only

Things did not happen the way they happened

And I could call you on mother’s day to tell you

How much I loved the orange pants you had knitted

For me when I was only a child, and tell you

How it feels to be in menopause!

But the things are different

Because it happened different

I had moved to a place far from our garden

I have left my moon on the other side of the sky

And it took me years to find the taste of a new apple

In the host garden

mahnaz badihian